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New: Nightshade’s Cove Featuring Ask NightShade.

Hello my little lovies, my name is Nightshade and I come to you from the world of Nightshade’s Cove.  Here you can indulge in wonderful waterfalls, eat exotic food…….Oh...

Hello my little lovies, my name is Nightshade and I come to you from the world of Nightshade’s Cove.  Here you can indulge in wonderful waterfalls, eat exotic food…….Oh and listen to my view on the world outside and answer your own questions.


I thought for a start I would tell you what’s going on lately, the biggest thing this year was the Olympics.  London 2012.  What can I say to you, it was inspiring, it was amazing, and it pulled on the heart strings.  It also made me want to throw up.  I mean take the Spice Girls, it’s really nice to know the girls are all still alive.  Nice to see they arrived by taxi cab, it does show they don’t qualify for the Free Bus Pass………yet.

I really enjoyed watching all the pomp and ceremony for both ceremonies but look at it closely, we have been given the world to ‘show off’ to, the world has its eyes on us and what do we do with that few hours of ceremony?  We give them a history lesson,  kill good song’s with Jessie J and throw our Queen out of a helicopter.  She did not really put up much of a fight when Bond came for her, this only waters my suspicions of their weekend away last year.

I did like the lighting of the flame, to see the sports men and women of the future lighting the flame for our youth, to inspire them to do more with their life and show there is more than guns, crime and the negativity in the world.  It was very touching…………..BUT I had a better idea, I think we should have had Keith Richards standing beside it, slightly leaning and with a casual flick, light it  with his finished fag and then walk away with his hands in his pockets.  Maybe to make it a little classier he should have had a cigar.

To be honest I can’t slate any of the Athletes purely because I can’t be rude to people who do such amazing things I can’t.  Unless your name is Jeremy Clarkson, Stephen Fry or Professor Brian Cox, how dare you be smart, well spoken, funny and travel to amazing place.  And be Jeremy Clarkson.   I do have some thoughts though, and it’s my job to report them to you, the lovely people living in the world out there.

I was thinking, the European countries did really well this year, any who won gold medals can use them as cash, see, their fanatical worries are over.  But Cash for Gold must be bankrupt by now.  I also heard from a friend of mine that even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during the games.  I was later informed that after sampling the British food they said, on second thoughts, fasting sounded like a better idea.  The government also advised people during this time to watch out, make sure they are not being sold fake tickets.  The audacity of some people, taking money from something so inspiring.  I think my tickets for the men’s wheelchair triple jump seem genuine enough, they guy with the long trench coat and shady spex told me not to worry.  One last thought on the Olympics, we wanted to inspire a nation, get them active and healthy right.  Let’s face it kids are getting fatter day by day and this thought is alarming, if our kids are getting fatter imagine the state of the kids in America.  I think the Olympics can inspire the kids of America to get active, to get them out of the house and playing sports.  Then again it could simply inspire them to sit on the sofa and watch the Olympics.  You can’t say we did not try, we inspire them to done thing or another right?

Yes I must admit, my views on the Olympics are a little tame for those who know me.  But when you think about it, it was pretty amazing to see all the hard work, all that negative thought and comments that we would fail and it would not be ready on time, all go out of the window.  I think Britain did pretty well, we did what the British do best.  We were not rubbish but we were not spectacular.  I think I am fair to say, it will be a LONG time until we get the Olympics, so there’s at least one thing I can be thankful for.  I can at least get home without dodging some bloody athlete blocking my way.


Nightshade’s advice:


Sarah from Essex asks:

Dear Nightshade,

I have a boyfriend who keeps asking me to take it up the back passage.  My only problem is I don’t know where this is and how long it will take to get there because I don’t drive.  I’m really embarrassed to ask.  Please help.


Dear Sarah,

If I might ask you one thing, are you blonde by any chance?  This ‘back passage’ really is not a hard place to find, believe me, when you say yes your boyfriend will have no problems giving you directions.

Failing that I could always give you a map.  But please, remember.  If you want safe access to the back passage, always have some butter to hand.  Personally it’s up to you, I find the back passage is a one way system and best to stay that way.

Good luck



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